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Dating
and Self Confidence
I once read
the results of a survey in a leading woman's magazine that
said the number 1 most attractive quality in a man was
confidence. Not arrogance, confidence. It took some time to
sink in as to what this really meant. Did it mean grabbing
the girl in matinee idol pose and whisking her backwards
whilst I kissed those luscious lips of hers? Did it mean
turning into a caveman never taking no for an answer? Did
it mean turning up at the door of the girl next door and
whisking her off to Paris for the weekend, though we had
hardly spoken? What did they mean by confidence? The quest
was on it find out.
Every woman I
have asked will answer in a different vein so the answer
isn't all things to all men. Confidence, it appears, is in
the eye of the beholder. Even worse, confidence can easily
be misconstrued so one has to tread carefully. The point is
not confidence itself, but its easier to define by its
opposite, fear. Fear in men is not attractive. Fear defines
a man as not knowing his own value, lacking a feeling of
self worth, not being sure of his abilities, lacking in
presence and determination. This I may add is very
different from justifiable fear that we all
face.
Okay, back to
confidence. Men are attractive when they are confident said
one friend. Another told me, "ooh a confident man makes me
go weak at the knees". So I pressed them further. A
confident man it seems is one who carries with him a
self-assuredness that is most definitely not arrogance. It
is a state where a man feels sure of himself and his
abilities, knows what he is about, knows himself for what
he can do,, what he may be able to do, what he may fail at
but does not fear to try. A confident man is in control of
his destiny, his future, his career, his day. And to many
women that is very attractive.
After all, a
woman is looking for a partner, one who will not only match
with her mentally and physically, but someone who can drive
her onwards, someone who has ambition and vitality, someone
who can pass hi self assuredness on to her. A man who is
confident is sexy because he is comfortable with himself,
he is in control and he is able to make decisions, good
decisions. He is confident in the choices he makes and in
choosing you (maybe really you selected him), he passes
this feeling of being special on to you. Being selected by
the right man can be very sexy indeed.
If you are
going to date the beauty in the corner and father her
children then running away is not a good start, neither is
feeling bad about yourself and failing to be able to hold a
decent conversation. Far too many men decide in advance of
an approach if they are worth of a woman's attentions or
not. All too often they believe they are not. Except where
alcohol is involved. Men in bars exude confidence, but they
also exude beer breath as well! No the fact is that guys
who lack confidence prejudge most situations and inevitably
take themselves out of the dating fray before it ever
happens, hoping, strangely, that the woman will make the
first move.
The fact is,
the confident men more often than not get the girl, because
the confident man has something about him. I know plenty of
good looking handsome men who are afraid to approach women
so its not necessarily about looks. No, its about something
within. Confidence is about self respect and self
understanding. It comes from understanding what you
yourself are about and when this happens a sexy man reaches
out. Often lack of confidence in men is because of physique
and yet it is an issue so easy to fix. 12 weeks in a gym
will change a man's life. A fit man is a confident man.
Dress is also something that instills confidence. No man
has an excuse for not dressing reasonably smart these days
as fashion for men is everywhere.
Ultimately we
all lose confidence from time to time. People can take our
confidence away at work or at home, in partnerships and on
our own. Ultimately though these are passing phases.
If a man can do one thing for himself in the dating game,
that is to learn about his own confidence levels in an
honest way and then go about doing something to increase
them. Feel good about yourself guys and someone will feel
good about you.
Original
article written by TopDatingTips
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